With the month of June nearly over, let’s talk about weddings. Before I got married, I really didn’t know that much about weddings other than it’s great to be invited in one because you get to dress up nicely, have the chance to meet up with old friends and enjoy free food during the reception.
Add to that how I really don’t understand the importance or significance of being a June bride or having weddings on the month of June for that matter. It’s the opening of the school year, which means traffic would be bad. And besides, June usually ushers in the start of the rainy season in the Philippines. Planning that garden wedding would definitely be at your own risk.
But because Cathy and I wanted to be independent, I had to be as engaged as possible in the preparation stage of our own wedding. It was a yearlong process and was an extremely stressful time for both of us. I mean meetings with the wedding planner, scheduling with the photo and video people, ocular visits, flowers, cakes, wedding gowns, placeholders, invitations... it’s just crazy! At one point I wanted to run away with Cathy and get married in a far away place just to get it over with.
But that’s being very selfish of course. Weddings as I have found out are never meant for the grooms. You don’t hear dudes saying, “You know, having a string quartet play the song ‘Ikaw’ at my own wedding has been a dream of mine since I was a little boy”. Of course grooms do play an important role in weddings, but they are just a little above the bridesmaids, the flower girls, the ice sculpture, the wedding cake, and the shrimp tempura being served at the reception.
Weddings are for the brides and the parents, which is why I did my very best to provide the best possible wedding I could humbly afford. For the first full year before the big day, all my savings went to the Cortez-Santos nuptial fund. And as simple as our wedding was, I take pride in saying that every single detail of the wedding was prepared by both my wife and I.
The wedding being as extremely simple as it was was very intimate and solemn. The small venue we had seemed to have magically transformed into this elegant little piece of heaven after it was dressed up. All the people I invited strictly followed the dress code in the invite, even my friends from the environmental movement all dressed like normal people. And Cathy, she looked like a fairy tale princess as she glided down the isle towards me. That moment remains to be the happiest day of my life. I actually feel differently now when I hear friends are getting married. I am glad that they too are going to experience the same rush I felt when I heard the preacher pronounce us as husband and wife.
So to all you young couples who tied the knot this month, I wish you all the fun and happiness of married life. It’s not always easy, but that’s why you have each other. I leave you now with the speech I read during our wedding reception, written exactly as it was delivered. Best wishes!!!
***
January 13, 2002
Casa Manila, Intramuros
Good evening everybody. I’ve written down my speech...it’s that good!
When Catherine and I started planning for our future together, we both agreed upon a really simple wedding. Having been raised in simplicity, I myself didn’t believe in extravagant celebrations. My parents who’ve been married for the last 28 years are living testimonies that fancy weddings have absolutely nothing to do with lasting relationships.
Anyway, exactly a year and 13 days ago, I was invited to spend the New Year’s Eve at Catherine’s place at Muntinlupa. Cathy said she wanted me to experience what a New Year’s Eve celebration was like. That’s because nearly every year, my New Year’s Eve (which also happens to be my father’s birthday) is spent lazily at home watching TV, playing my electric guitar as loud as I want, or walking around the nearby subdivision with my best friend Jon (which I will admit is a pretty stupid thing to do with all the firecrackers in the streets, and we both hated firecrackers. But you know, we goof around, we make fun of things and it was fun). After 12MN and after all the noise has settled down I go back to my house and me and my family would spend the first few minutes of the year in prayer.
Anyway, Cathy wanted me to attend their celebration-slash-family reunion that New Year’s eve so that I could also meet her other relatives that were coming from out of the country. It was something her entire family looks forward to every year.
Now you must understand, New Year’s Eve at Cathy’s place is a really big deal. It’s so festive that it would make a fiesta look like a chapel service. There’s no parade in the streets but I mean there was food, there was dancing, there were elaborate and expensive fireworks, there were little kids running around, there was laughter, it had video coverage, and they all dress up (in long gowns and more than casual clothes).
But most of all, there was also prayer. At a little past 12 MN, I remember her lola gathering all the members of her family in front of the prepared food and leading everybody in a prayer of thanks giving. She reminded me of my own lola who was like a second mother to me. She recently succumbed to cancer when I was in forth year college, and Cathy’s lola at that time reminded me of her.
It was during that night that I also had a chat with her aunties and uncles, and of course Mr. Jorg Schoppmann, a.k.a. Tito Schoppy who unfortunately couldn’t be with us tonight, he’s on an extremely important business trip back in Germany. Anyway, he gave me insights about my future family, how much they loved Cathy and how they are all so very proud of her. And right then, I was so moved by the strong bond that they all had. It was already evident to me. Through the years I’ve seen their family stick through thick and thin, together, and the great distance that physically separated some of them was of little obstacle. That night I felt so welcomed and accepted (it was such a Kodak moment). Everytime the topic of Cathy and I getting married came up I could see that they were even more excited than us.
That’s when I realized that simplicity with regards to the wedding just had to go out the window. Cathy doesn’t deserve anything simple. She deserves the best, ehem ehem (hence me). I have admittedly spoiled her rotten anyway, so why stop at something as important as a wedding?
So we started planning. It was hard, it meant long hours at work, and we had to forego little luxuries (like food, water and clothing) for the past year. With a lot of help from friends and a lot of blessings (or should I say last minute surprises) from the Man upstairs, Cathy and I were able to save a little sum of money to spend for what we have here right now. It still is not what I really hoped for, not what I had in mind, not the sort of wedding fit for my lovely wife (I just realized that this is the first time I called you my wife). Still, even though it’s far from being extravagant, it certainly is special, and your presence here tonight has made it all the more special than it already is. A mere thank you will never be enough to express the massive amount of appreciation we both feel right now.
Still, it is that same special feeling I have in my heart that pains me tonight that I was unable to invite more people than I intended. I do hope that they understand. It was something beyond our control. Being popular and being so well loved by many people clearly has its disadvantages. I now realize that now...(hehehe)
To my family, I thank you for all the support you have given Cathy and I all though out the ten years we have been together. I thank you for the love and most of all the trust that you have given us.
For those of you who don’t know, there was a brief period that Cathy and I broke up (over some petty thing I really can’t remember), and when my mom finally came to realize that it was the reason why Cathy’s slippers we gathering dust in our shoe rack, she cried. My parents have loved her like their own daughter, and that was clear to me a long long time ago. Thank you mommy, daddy and my only sister Flery.
My favorite high school English teacher once said, "tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are". I really don’t know what my friends say about who I am, or how my being or personality is reflected through them (specially the people at that table over there!), but I will tell you who they are to me. They have been my family outside my family; I too thank each and every one of you for all your support. I would not be the person that I am if not for all of you. You guys have made life easier and worthwhile. Thank you for listening, thank you for being with us through all the trials we’ve had and thank you for sharing the laughter. I am indeed forever grateful. In this world where the only thing that remains constant is change, I am glad that you guys have not. Your companionship is one of my greatest treasures that I shall cherish throughout my entire life. And for that I thank you.
To Cathy’s family, thank you for embracing me as your own. Thank you also for the support, we really appreciate all the help you have unselfishly given us. I know how much you all love Cathy, I promise to do the same as I have long before she even said Yes to me ten years ago.
To all of you here tonight and to those who cannot and are not with us to share this blessed evening, thank you.
Cathy and I have this debate going on as to whether we should stop celebrating October 29 as our anniversary. For those of you who have known us, you will attest that we are sentimental mushy saps, and that we consistently celebrated every 29th of every month, monthsaries as they are called. Anyway, she said that we should now start counting with today, January 13, 2002. Well, I am not superstitious and it wouldn’t have mattered to me even if today fell on a Friday. But if it’s okay with you honey, I think we should still celebrate October 29 as we always have.
October 29, 1991 was the day you said YES, it was the day the reality I was fed by the world around me was completely defied. It was the moment my life truly began. It was that day when I first held your hand in mine that I knew that whatever hardships the world would throw at me, it would be okay because I had you to face it with. More importantly, it was the day you became my girlfriend, and even though you are now my wife, you will always be that cute little girl in her third year high school uniform who said "yes" to me inside the staff room, ten lovely years ago.
But that doesn’t mean that today is not as special. For the first time in my entire life, most of all the significant people in my life for the first time, have gathered in one room to share with me this moment. That is indeed special and I shall remember that for as long as I live.
So, what is the secret of a long and lasting relationship? Honestly, I still don’t know. I really wish I could give you the secret formula. But I do know that it’s not something that two couples can do entirely on their own. As I have said before, there has always been a third person in our relationship, and that would be Christ. And I know that all of you would agree that loving, caring, thoughtful and most of all understanding boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives can only come from a higher entity other than parents, relatives or friends. It has to come from God himself. And Cathy has been an extension of God’s unwavering love to me, to her family and friends...
Again thank you for simply being there and I hope you pray for us and wish us both happiness forever. Thank you everyone and have a wonderful evening.
