I am not sure if this only happens here in Manila, but have you ever seen dating couples walking around in malls and other public places where the guy carries the girl’s handbag or purse? I’m not talking about school kids and heavy stacks of textbooks inside a backpack. I mean young adult men carrying their date’s dainty little ladies bags.
I don’t quite see the logic behind it. I can understand things like opening a door for a lady or pulling a chair for your date before a romantic dinner. I can even say that asking to carry grocery bags is mandatory. But ladies bags?
I’m sure men reading this who are in the habit would justify the act by saying it’s their way of being a gentleman to their date. But it’s kind of stupid really if you think about it. First of all, what is the total combined weight of a hairbrush, a face powder, a wallet, a pepper spray, a cell phone, and an occasional pocket book anyway? It can’t be that heavy because otherwise the girl wouldn’t bother bringing it in the first place. They keep things at a minimal because even if they know dudes would want to carry stuffs for them they realize that they still have to carry it by themselves at some point during the day.
Secondly, and I’m not too sure if guys figured this out yet, it’s simply tacky. If you show up in your date’s front door all dressed up like a stud, carrying a ladies bag is the antithesis of what you are trying to achieve when you made sure you had your most testosterone tested clothes on. You see, no matter what you do, it will stand out. A ladies bag on a guy is like a pink ribbon on a barbell.
Men can’t get away with it because there is absolutely no way to look manly while carrying a ladies bag or a purse. When Cathy and I are in the mall, she would sometimes make me hold her bag for her when she goes inside a fitting room to try on a dress. I swear, I would desperately try to be “at one” with her bag by negotiating different ways of carrying it. I’d try flipping it on my shoulder as if it was a jacket, I’d see if holding it as if I were clutching a book would be any different, I’d even try holding it like Cathy would. But the reality is that there is just no way I cannot be mindful of how tacky I look sporting a girly shinny black leather shoulder bag in public. Seeing how some guys readily volunteer themselves into awkwardness by asking if they can carry their date’s ladies bags is completely beyond me.
Now of course we would want a girl’s perspective on this subject. Who knows, maybe women consider it cute and charming, maybe even adorable. Or perhaps they’d think it’s an affirmation that chivalry is definitely alive and well. So I did my informal research and casually asked around.
My informal survey yielded unsurprising results. Majority of the women I asked think it’s nowhere near cute. In fact, some of the verbatim I actually got were: “inappropriate”, “silly” and get this, “insincere”.
Ok, we’ve already established the inappropriate and silly part, but insincere is rather enlightening. Perhaps some women are aware that after these studs get want they want in the relationship, be it sex or whatever, they wouldn’t be surprised if one day their boyfriends suddenly turn into fashion savant Carson Kressley and says something like, “I’m sorry sweetie, but I’ve realized how your pastel colored shoulder bag just doesn’t go well with these basketball shoes I have on. Maybe you can carry your own bag today.”
Maybe some girls know that some men would do just about anything to get inside their pants. And since they are probably getting in anyway at some point in the relationship, might as well enjoy the moment and have some fun with them.
I mean think about it, have you seen some of these loud and absurd looking unfashionable ladies and shoulder bags lately? They look so damn girly and outrageous even drag queens wouldn’t be caught dead holding one! These bags were specifically designed for women who have dates they know are just carrying their bags for them in exchange for sex later on.
And the weird thing about that is how some men, in spite the tackiness, still insist on carrying it! It’s like they’ve developed a stronger tolerance over time. So what happens next is designers just keep on designing odder looking bags as an experiment to see how far would guys go before they say no or at least start getting suspicious about their date’s multi colored furry shoulder bag collection.
But of course, this is not to say that there aren’t any men out there that do it for the sheer pleasure of wanting to carry a ladies bag. There are a few sincere ones left, they just happen to be gay. Because lets face it, married men don’t do it. Heck, fast forward into the future some more and you’ll see how married men with kids don’t do it either! I’ve never carried Cathy’s bag when we were dating. It never crossed my mind and she didn’t want me to anyway so it really worked out nicely.
But here’s an advice for all you single dating guys out there. If your girlfriend or date honestly likes you carrying their bag for them and you are totally fine with it, go for it, what ever keeps the boat afloat! But unless you can follow through with clockwork consistency on this whole ladies bag-carrying deal, just don’t do it. You might be compensated now for the tackiness you endured, but what you probably don’t realize is how this eventually all winds up as another item on that list called “Those Things You Used To Do”. That my friend, is definitely not worth carrying around!
