My best friend collects toys.
Ok, maybe I should try that again. My 30 year old best friend, who is an Emergency Medicine Consultant at the Emergency Department of St. Luke's Medical Center collects toys. Not only that, he collects tons of comics, action figures and almost everything that has the words "Star Trek" either printed or embossed on it. He has quite a hefty collection that if someone were to raid his room, the last thing that person would assume is that a 30 year old medical doctor actually sleeps there.
I visited him last weekend and noticed a few of his latest acquisitions proudly displayed on his shelves. I saw three Batmobile replicas (still inside their boxes), a few Batman action figures (again, never taken out of their original boxes), three volumes of Star Trek DVDs, each of which contains no less than 48 disks, and of course collector's item edition comic books all carefully wrapped in plastic covers.
Being a regular resident of reality, I have in fact never stepped inside the USS Enterprise nor have I ever been to Gotham City, so I did what every best friend would do (or might do), that is of course to brazenly make a mockery of his expensive toy collections.
It's cruel I know, but I couldn't help it. I mean you might think; who would want to purchase an action figure of Batman shown in his late 50's (I know. Believe me, there actually is one. Batman apparently went back to active duty doing hero work even after he started getting his retirement pension)? Wouldn't Batman worry more about fighting high cholesterol than bad guys at that age? Or does he set an alert somewhere on his utility belt that notifies him when his blood pressure shoots up and he should take his Batpills? I swear, if the toy company that manufactures these Batman action figures one day comes up with a limited edition Batman in his Bat-Pajamas, my best friend would most probably be first in line to place advance orders. And it wouldn't be hard to imagine how he'd probably justify his purchase saying something like its rare or how cool it is to see the dark knight presented so vulnerably is in his sleep wear.
"Damn dude, you are one case study you know that. What's this, a mobile phone?" I asked pointing to the tiny toy cell phone accessory obviously belonging to one of his Star Trek action figure on display.
"You don't know anything! That's not a cellphone! That's a communicator!" I figured it was also a choking hazard, but aside from him being a doctor, the last thing a person who purchases a Star Trek doll would do is to actually let a child play with it.
"It's a disease man. You need help; you are the only person I know who does this."
"It's not a disease! There are others like me you know. There are a lot of people who collect these things."
"Oh yeah..." I said. "There's that character in the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin. Oh and of course, TV Geek! Hehehe!"
But true enough he did show me a website forum, where others like him have more or less the same collective size of Batman and Star Trek paraphernalia (it's actually where I got the really funny title for this post, which I hope his playmates don't mind me using it).
Though contrary to the nerd stereotype, he doesn't wear thick black framed eye glasses, he doesn't own a pet snake and/or tarantula, and he is getting married this year. It's the reason why I paid him a visit. Aside from being the best man in his wedding, I am also his online wedding registration webmaster. I was supposed to update the content of his website, but because of the lack of actual stuff to update it with, I ended up doing comedy routines on his toys, which quite frankly was all too easy.
But what really fascinates me about his disease-like obsession is the amount of heart he actually has for it. I've seen him build his collections as far back as high school and to this day he still carries with him that same amount of dedication he has for completing his ultimate Batman and Star Trek stockpile. Every time I would poke fun at one of his toys he would be quick to reference some book in his library or some interesting trivia as to why it's actually cool to own an action figure of Grand Pa Batman in his late 50's. It's a fiery passion not even my class act ridiculing could douse.
Considering the levels of obsession are still within the realms of what society considers to be harmless and what medical science would still consider as healthy, I do believe it's good for a person to be fixated on collecting things. It's good to have things with you that you can either relate to or simply appreciate. Have a low hanging fruit that you can easily reach for and immediately enjoy, while you are gearing towards climbing for the ones that are on top.
I was watching the film "Adaptation" and the character in the story mentioned how at one point in his life he was obsessed with collecting tropical fish. He went as far as skin diving just to get the right ones for his collection. He owned about 60 tanks in his house. Because for him, fish was the only thing that made sense in this fucked up world.
I guess in the midst of all the chaos and complexities that plagues us daily, we do need something that's easy to understand and appreciate in life. Perhaps the need to devote a significant part of our lives to the pursuit of collecting things not only helps us remain sane but also makes our individual journeys all worth while.
As for myself, I collect blues albums and I'm beginning to justify the need to own more than 2 vintage model guitars. I'm married and all right now, but if I weren't, I bet saying "Hey baby, wanna head over to my place and check out my guitar and record collection" would sound a whole lot better than, "Hey I've got a really neat idea! Maybe after you're done with your drink, you and I can go to my room and I can show you my collection of rare Batman dolls! Well? What do you say?!? Hey wait! NO! Arghhh! Crap... I hate pepper sprays!"
