One of the things I’ve learned from being with different kinds of people during events like team buildings, parties and night outs is that different people have different ways of having fun.
Though the word “fun” is in itself a relative term, there are of course common denominators that a lot of people agree on. Like being at the beach is always a fun idea during the summer. A really good movie can be lots of fun for a lot of people. Video games are fun. Sports are fun. Playing with children is fun. Catching up with long time friends and goofing around is fun. The list is just endless.
Still, there are things and activities that simply escape me. Here are some of the things I just can’t understand why people file under the category heading FUN:
KARAOKE. Since it’s invention in the late 1970’s, Karaoke machines have been empowering frustrated untalented singers everywhere the means to annoy people who value tranquility. Not only do these devices produce 80’s video game-like versions of the original songs, but also much worse it amplifies the kind of “singing” that may very well be the musical equivalent of a shrieking cat running around with its tail caught on fire. Still, a great deal of people do consider the idea of having a karaoke machine during gatherings as a fun way of breaking the ice. When in reality all it breaks is the other person’s eardrum or in some cases, the will to live. It is a good thing that Karaoke bars are now starting to become a trend in parts of Manila. I believe the basic idea here is not to make the karaoke accessible, but rather to isolate the people who are fond of these machines, in a safely contained environment where no second hand harm can be done. Unsupervised amateurish singing can be a terribly annoying thing, and the Japanese were well aware of that. It’s their way of getting back at everybody for Hiroshima.
STRIP BARS. I am no hypocrite; I love the females of the human specie, specially the aesthetically gifted ones. But if you really think about it, strip bars are no fun (and I’m not just saying that because my wife can read this). It’s like being a homeless guy inside a fancy restaurant being teased with scrumptious food in a platter that you are not allowed to eat or even touch. Where’s the fun in that? Strip bars are a lot of other things, but fun is definitely not one of them.
ALCOHOL. Now here’s an item up for debate. Depending on the crowd I decide to tag along with during out of town team buildings, beer and other alcoholic beverages appear to be on top of the priority item checklist, superseding things like towels, extra underwear and sun block. It must be written in some party manual somewhere that an out of town team building would be completely unthinkable without having anything intoxicating you can wash down your throat with readily available. Yes you’ve figured me out; I don’t drink. I just don’t have the taste buds for beer or alcohol. Anything that smells something like it should be in a car’s fuel tank can’t possibly taste good. The concept of drinking something that will deliberately slow down my brain functions is still relatively new to me. I thought that’s what algebra is for. The idea of wanting to wake up in the morning in a state where even a pin drop will cause my head to suddenly throb in pain doesn’t spell fun for me either. So excuse me while I have my ice tea refilled.
MATHEMATICS. Back in college, I used cool magazine pictures of Robert Smith as a cover for my math books (for all you people born in the late 1980s, he’s the lead singer of the British pop rock band “The Cure”). It was a vain attempt to make me appreciate balancing formulas, figuring out age problems, and making sense out of quadratic equations. If anyone tells you that math is fun, don’t get too excited, chances are that person is lying. There are math professors and instructors that somehow make math fun, so don’t be confused with the method of instruction with the actual subject. Math for me is about as fun as a bad skin rash.
BUNGEE JUMPING. I know there are a lot of other extreme sports out there that is more dangerous than bungee jumping that people consider as fun. But the reason I included this one in particular is because at one time I know this has been locally available here in the Philippines. I think it was in Subic a few years back where you pay 800 pesos a pop to experience the rush of free falling and suddenly being yanked back up like a yoyo in mid air. Sorry if you are into this, but that’s just plain crazy! I wouldn’t pay 800 pesos for a body massage let alone have the living crap scared out of me by jumping off a ledge! No thank you! I’ve seen bungee jumping in World’s Most Shocking Videos, the poor dude who broke his bones by entrusting his life to an elastic rope was just asking for it.
ARCADE DANCE MACHINES. “Hey Juan, I’ve got a great idea! What if we come up with an arcade game where instead of using your fingers, you’ll use your hands, feet and body to activate the buttons!” “But Berto, wouldn’t that make users look like a stupid jack ass moving around in place just to do the controls?” “Well not if you put music in the background they can actually dance to!” “I don’t know Berto, you really think people would want to spend money into this contraption? I mean come on, who in their right mind would want to dance like a fool in an arcade, aren’t people who go to arcades having enough trouble as it is getting laid?” “Come on man! This is a great idea! We’ll install motion sensors, loud speakers and bright flashing lights in this thing! What do you say? It’ll be fun!” “I’m not too sure about it Berto, I just don’t want to be responsible for other people’s sex lives you know.”
Except for Mathematics, I really haven’t been engaged enough in most of the things I’ve mentioned above to personally conclude it’s no fun. So I might be wrong. Maybe they are more fun than I give it credit for. After all, being a recreational Free Diver, I used to train and hold my breath for fun, hehehe.
