Extra Rice For My Rocket

My family didn’t own a car, so I was raised knowing only the available public transport known as the jeepney as my only means of getting from point A to B (my dad however had a company service vehicle, I sometimes ask him to drive me to places when he's able to). I didn’t know how to drive and never really cared for it. When my dad tried to teach me, it was an unpleasant and painful experience for both of us, “I would learn how to do this whole gas and clutch release thing if you would just stop shouting at me!!!”. Before I got married I had no car, didn't even considered owning one and actually never really cared for driving . I viewed automobiles as nothing more than evil fossil fuel consuming carbon monoxide belching machines.

But after my wife and I decided that we eventually had to get one, my perspective has completely changed.

I’ve never really understood why the relationship between man and automobiles has been so romanticized. Why does Butch Dalisay write about his Volkswagen beetle so often in his columns? Why do we have commercials that capitalize on the analogy between new car owners and new fathers? Why would some husbands, after a long hard day’s work still have time and energy to grab some car shampoo and a garden hose to clean the car before going to bed? Though of course there is still a fine line between loving your car and “really loving your car” in a nutcase kind of way. But now that I catch myself caring for the car in the same way I care for my guitar, I think I know why.

My wife and I attended a car show once in SM’s Mega Trade Hall and I would be quick to admit how I drooled over the nice rims, flawless paint jobs and interiors that I wish I had for my own ride. I also envy the deserving kids featured in MTV’s “Pimp My Ride”, though sometimes I feel that West Coast Customs is a bit over the top when dressing up the beat up cars that are brought in their shop. “Ok now Cindy, when we first got your car and opened up your trunk we saw a lot of dirty laundry that you said you couldn’t bring to the cleaners because your car always broke down. Well guess what, we installed a brand new Whirlpool Duet HT GHW9400P top of the line washing machine in your car! It’s got 13 factory pre-set cleaning cycles and it even has Quiet Wash Plus Noise Reductions, so that when you drive while washing your clothes, you can still enjoy the large venue capacity B-52 subwoofers we also installed!”

I don’t know much about cars and modifications just yet, but I did get a few accessories to make the car less stock looking. I installed race pedals, nice indiglo backlights for the dials in the dash, some racing seat belt pads, a muffler tip a friend gave me, and when I have enough money I might even throw in a racing sports grill for the front and a nice steering wheel.

I know, I know. I’m a friggin’ rice boy in the making! But in spite these little things I’ve already done to the car, you have to believe me that I just want it to look good and less ordinary, not necessary to create the illusion of speed. I am actually more concerned about performance rather than appearance. I actually smirk when I see some of the following cars on the road:

• Ridiculously lowered cars that desperately try to diagonally navigate over an average sized speed hump. You could sometimes almost wish to hear the sound the body makes while it grinds the concrete.
• Cars that have all these small and even giant sized stickers that sometimes don’t even match the model that they are driving. Like I saw this one dude driving in a lowered Honda Lxi Civic that had a VTEC sticker on its rear. Then there was this other dude in a lowered Corolla XL that had a huge red Ferrari sticker across the top of his windshield.

• Big ass muffler tips that do nothing. Well actually, this is better compared to the annoyingly loud muffler systems that sound like the great tribulation when the engine is being revved up.

• Bright white halogen tail lights that almost beg for an accident to happen when the car breaks and they light up, temporarily blinding the driver behind it. I also hate how these blue signal park lights are becoming popular, I personally think it’s tacky. But then again tackiness on the road is much safer.

• Drivers who fan themselves crazy inside their cars in spite the air conditioning. These dudes are sweating like a pitcher of iced tea left under the sun because they removed the tint from their windows so people can see how pimped up their interiors are. Hehehe, some Filipino rice boys who listen to too much hip-hop often forget that the Philippines is a tropical country. I will say this however, if you are a geek and you got a pretty girl riding with you in the front seat of your pimpmobile, having clear glass windows is sweet revenge, just be sure to ride during nice cloudy days.

Personally, there is nothing wrong in wanting to fix up a car. Being a long time commuter, I do appreciate the convenience of not having to base your travel time on the amount of passengers that bus/jeepney drivers have to wait on before deciding to finally move from a stop. Getting groceries has also become more of a fun family activity rather than an experiment to see how many grocery bags two fingers can carry before they start to feel numb from the weight. I also love coming home after work not smelling like exhaust fumes. Not having to commute during rainy days will eventually save me money on new shoes. And best of all I am able to take my wife and daughter out for fun family out of town trips. So I guess wanting to make the car look a little better is a way of saying, “You know, for an evil fossil fuel consuming carbon monoxide belching machine, you’re pretty alright!”