Pervert Alert

The other day I was in the mall having lunch when I spotted a group of teenaged boys strolling around the food court trying to settle on a place to eat.

They were your regular casually dressed punk assed college boys, nothing really that stands out except for the t-shirts that I noticed most of them were wearing. They were different shades of colors but had basically the same design: human figure symbols of a man and a woman, you know, the kind you see in rest room doors. Only these ones were having sex. Each of the three shirts I saw was showing different kinds of sexual positions.

Sexually suggestive t-shirt designs of course are nothing new. I’ve seen milder version of these shirts years ago. I’ve seen a pretty young lady in a mall once wearing a cute pink pre-shrunk shirt with the words “Porn Star” printed on its front. I also remember seeing a dude wearing a shirt with the words “Sex Instructor”. Raunchier versions were those “Boner” shirts that somehow became popular years ago. It was like a chart of sexual positions being modeled by cartoon drawings of two skeletons, hence “boners”. They were usually printed on black shirts, and most of the time I only get to see them being worn by punk assed kids attending rock concert.

It’s not surprising to see teenaged boys or even girls wear them in malls, I actually know of stores inside malls that sell these kinds of shirts. But I suppose what I find interesting is how it has now become socially acceptable to publicly advertise that you are a pervert.

Ok, clarification. Those of you who know me personally will attest that I am no moral activist. By nature, I am not the type of person to be easily offended by these things. In fact, I most probably fall somewhere along the upper-middle echelon of the pervert hierarchy. But man, you don’t see me walking around in public wearing a shirt that shows human figure symbols of a woman giving a man fellatio with a sign beside the kneeling woman that says, “You are here”.

What if heaven forbid an innocent three year old little girl notices these shirts and starts asking their parents questions like, “Daddy, why is there a drawing of a woman sitting on a man printed on that guy’s shirt?”. It’s bad enough that parents have to shield their sons and daughters from the vulgarity being shown on television daily, but now they have to deal with people who shamelessly flaunt their crude taste in humor in public.

Honestly, I don’t care if people actually wear these shirts. I think it’s a good thing that we can now easily single out the perverts in a crowd just by looking at their taste in fashion. It makes it easy for girls too to avoid these jerks, because if it hasn’t occurred to you people yet, no self respecting girl would want to be seen in public with a shameless creep that wears a shirt that reads, “I taught your girlfriend that thing you like”.

I don’t care if people wear them really. Wear your pervert shirts during your porn shoot, adult film industry convention or whatever, but remember that I just don’t want it seen in places where I bring my daughter to!

Ok, I still have some space left. Let’s talk about teenaged girls fashion next. The thing that truly fascinates me about girls who wear skimpy clothes is how in spite the absolute knowledge that they will be stared at, they still insist on trying to squeeze their bodies inside tiny tops and mini skirts. Why is that?

And you know what else drives me nuts about some women? Those who wear slutty clothes in inappropriate venues. And then there are those who wear them commuting in public utility jeeps on their way there. I once saw a girl who boarded a jeepney wearing a really short skirt. She probably noticed how most of the drooling guys inside the jeep where staring so much that it’s starting to burn holes through her denim that she took out her handkerchief, unfolded it and spread it on top her exposed legs.

Times have truly changed, and I’m not even that old yet. Back in my teenaged days, if you see your high school classmate wearing a spaghetti strapped top and jeans with the waist cut so low you could see their lacey t-back undies, that girl might as well have a scarlet letter “A” sewn on her dress. But now it’s just considered casual clothing.

I think if the children’s story “The Emperor’s New Clothes” were re-written today and that the dress was actually designed not for the Emperor but rather for the Emperor’s daughter I’m pretty sure the Emperor would say, “Hey hold on one minute here, what sort of fabric is that dress made of? I can hardly see the damn thing! You can’t wear that to the royal parade!” The Emperor’s daughter would probably argue, “Daddy!!! Are you kidding? It’s perfect!!!” While the Emperor’s son would probably say something like, “Yeah, it looks good alright. But I think it needs a drawing of a man and a woman making out.”